Book Review: 'Why Men and Women Can't Be Friends'

 'Why Men and Women Can't Be Friends' by Oliver Markus Malloy

"Men and women often fundamentally misunderstand each other, as some of the studies I quoted in this book have shown. For example, women tend to misinterpret a man's sexual interest as "just being friendly" while men misinterpret a woman's friendliness as sexual interest." 'Why Men and Women Can't Be Friends' will change the way we think about men and will never misinterpret their actions again.

Telling that men are pigs and the romance novels are the last places, a real one can be found, the author goes on to examine the meaning of life. And finds the answer disappointingly simple, mating. Followed by the treaures of raising a family. 

Author then finds that an unnatural custom lies with humans - monogamy. Not only that it is a rarity among mammals, but also the ones who "practice any form of monogamy" are not truly monogamous. Quoting instances of violent suppression of the defeated side, author mentions that the desire of the winning side was to rape as many as possible. While examining other facets of male famale interation, like romantic relationships, the only interest, the male have, is of the sexual vein.

Men and women can't think of mere friendship, the author finds.

Though I agree that sex plays an important part in the male famale imbroglio, I differ with the author. It is not sexual gratification that the males seek, but an escape from the implied responsibility of the male. Which leads to all the instances of 'fundamental misunderstanding', as rightly proposed by the author.

One more Proof

The Guardian 16 Apr

"Trainee barristers are being told they will be docked points in their exams if they wear short skirts, colourful socks or “kinky boots”.

This is one more example, of the many signs that appear these days, pointing to the hard times ahead, as far as women go. 

Missing the Forest for the Trees

I can see it more and more clearly nowadays, human beings like to to indulge with the irrational, that too without any worry about the repercussions. When it is about the abstract elements of life, we celebrate it as unique elements of human race, calling it dogma, superstition, tradition, culture, etc. When it is about things like aadhaar, income tax returns, PAN cards, or linking all of those, we overlook the irrational in it, calling it hegemony of the ruling, or forward looking vision, as appropriate. When it is about things like rape, or something that can be given a color, we again overlook the irrational in it, calling it a dastardly deed. Why is it like that?

I think, the irrational in our society happens to be helpful to us. Sometimes appealing to all, or generally beautiful, and may be a few times, not so. When it is the former, we see providence, luck, or hard work; and we venerate, celebrate, or reward appropriately. But when it is the latter, and when we can't close our eyes to it, we might make some noise, and object.

Because, we are always enamored by the irrational.

Book Review: 'Weapons of math destruction'

'Weapons of math destruction: how big data increases inequality and threatens democracy'. This book, by Cathy O’Neil is about the dark side of Big Data. How it can end up punishing the poor and the oppressed in our society, while making the rich richer. This book is intended to focus sharply on the damage inflicted by such companies (WMDs) and the injustice they perpetuate.

Appropriately titled Bomb Parts, the beginning chapter of the book explain the three elements of a WMD: Opacity, Scale, and Damage, with an example of how data can be used to augment or destroy the fun we enjoy with our favorite sport. Next few chapters present various methods of manipulating such data to meet the ends of powerful players in this field. How, as technology advances, we are all being subjected to a digital form of stop and frisk, our faces matched against databases of interest. Or, how automatic systems judge us when we seek jobs and evaluate us based on certain data. How this affects recruiting, and laying off, policies.

Further chapters examine the impact WMD is making on the lives of common people. How the free expression of one's choice is affected, as far as the process of elections go. How public policy imitiatives are costantly hijacked in favour of powerful lobbies. How it can be made cause extensive shake up in important areas, like the industrial sphere, health management, etc.

Author highlights the distortion, WMDs are causing in our midst. Influencing higher education, drive up debt, spur mass incarceration, pummel the poor at nearly every juncture, and undermine democracy, are only some of the ills. 'It might seem like the logical response is to disarm these weapons, one by one', and I tend to agree with the author.